Since turning 30 in October, I have seen my last few months spiral out of control. I have realised that I am one of those people that need to be in control. However the control in these last few months have gone away from me which has made previous issues like anxiety creep back into my life.
My anxiety has been growing slowly since Mr A was born. At one point I though it may be baby blues but it was actually related to me having to go back to work after my year off and leaving him at home for 2 days a week without me there. I wasn’t leaving him with any random person, it was with his dad and we had done it with Z but I still felt like my head and heart couldn’t leave him. This grew until I had to go see the GP as I started to get chest pains where at times I couldn’t breathe. The anxiety started to affect my stress levels and I would lose my temper so quickly – sometimes shouting at the top of lungs. In one second my head would feel like it would burst and I would be crying like an uncontrollable baby be it in the bath or when putting my little ones to sleep. My head was everywhere and I felt over worked, suffocated and like things were out of my control.
I started to read up on these symptoms and it said to meditate hence controlling your breathing so that’s what I did. I began leaving the situation for a couple of minutes and getting some fresh air to calm myself down. However I didn’t get any better after I started work as I had to have a set weekly routine and Mr A would keep crying every time I walked out of the door which made me feel 100% more guilty than I already felt – which just made me tear up every time I went to work. After I went back to the GP and they did a full MOT they came back telling me it was anxiety related and I needed to learn to relax, possibly take time out for myself so I could regroup and then be better at taking care of my surroundings.
I did that and it started to work. Slow progress but I started to feel better. I began using my hypnobirthing breathing techniques and taking time off for myself whenever I could. Till I had a car incident.
It was a minor accident but it knocked me. A car was in the wrong lane, cut me up and scraped the entire drivers side. After that I became more aware of the amount of cars and how busy the roads were. Even though the accident wasn’t my fault it still affected me and my confidence. It brought back my anxiety whenever I would drive, even if it was to the end of the road. I struggled, I wouldn’t drive the way I used to. I was thinking and over thinking with every move I took be it bad weather, or slight bad weather to just the bustling of the roads.
It didn’t get any better when I was a passenger either. I couldn’t look outside the car, every time we took a turning or a car was coming towards us and I felt there wasn’t space I would breathe in deep and close my eyes. So instead of freaking out the driver I have now become a reading passenger or one that scours the internet constantly for the entire journey. Its not a solution, its not fixed me but it takes me away from the situation and hopefully saves the driver from having a accident.
To add to the on and off stress, we decided to buy a house and move away from our 2 bed flat in London. It was a long time coming but finding that we were at that point where no one could live in 2 bedrooms any more we knew it was time. The house hunting began and as we were looking outside London (outside the M25) it would be long day trips and trekking to and fro with the kids. But it would be worth it once we found our future home and start a new life, especially as Z hadn’t been given a school so she was being home-schooled for the foreseeable future. Now I am sure you don’t want to know how stressful a house purchase and selling your property is but lets just say, we found the perfect house, the sale is still going through 6 months down the line and we are living amongst boxes and I’ve gained A LOT more grey hair!!
With more issues up then down my anxiety levels creeping up, sleepless nights full of worry and stress from every angle possible I needed more that just breathing tips! So I did an experiment. The other half bought me a couple of items to use, from Lush bath bombs to relaxation tea I began doing a daily routine to see what helped and what didn’t.
Here are the products that seriously helped me and I would continue using even when I start to feel more settled and better because not only does it get rid of your days rush around it calms the mind to help you drift to sleep.
Once every 2 weeks or every week if you can get away try the Lush The Big Sleep Jelly Bath Bomb for 30 minutes of peace. Its jelly texture gives you an amazing amount of relaxation whilst still benefiting your skin immensely. It left my skin so soft and actually felt squidgy clean. It has a beautiful blue hue in the water and smell of camomile and lavender strike up your senses to give you a calming soothing notion of sleep.
Every night have a relaxing herbal tea – I loved Organic Camomile with Manuka Honey Tea by Heath and Heather as it was caffeine free, light to taste, and literally had no nasties. 90% Camomile and 10% Honey, what more could you ask for. It is perfect to unwind with whilst you finally get to put your feet up before bed.
After this a teaspoon of honey. Not just any honey – but raw organic Rainforest Honey straight from Brazil created and sold by Latin Honey Shop. We recently discovered this online shop and after ordering this honey I am not disappointed. It is amazing – the real deal. This specific honey comes from Southern Brazil where plants such as the Pink Mimosa Silk also live, otherwise known as the ‘tree of happiness’. This combats stress and anxiety creating high antibacterial activity and a hypnotic effect that calms the nervous system. After trying this for just two nights I have had one of the best nights sleep, you can feel it relaxing you, and the minute my head hits the pillow I am out. It has so far helped me to have a relaxing sleep to the point where when I wake up I still feel relaxed.
Before I hit the bed, I spray Dr Organic Lavender Sleep Therapy Spray all over the bedding and pillow area and use the Dr Organic Sleep Therapy Lavender Oil on my pulse points. The lavender in the products help to give off a calming scent and help to relax your nerves. The use of the oil gently rubbed into my wrists and neck points help to soothe my breathing, relax the mind and drift off into a gentle sleep.
These 4 to 5 daily tips have shown an improvement in my life. Its not sorted out my problem, I’ve been told to see a therapist mainly for the car issue, which I may just end up doing in the future. But for now, these home remedies are at least providing a decent nights sleep and when I get a bit to flustered or start to feel stressed I go into my room and smell the oil to help me calm down.